Bob Said:

How is my story so far??

We Answered:

I agree; telling us what happened in this matter-of-fact way is not very engaging for readers - they like to be there in the moment with your character, seeing moment-by-moment action and emotion. What you have written is just a summary of a load of events, and it's not interesting because we need to care about the character first.
My advice would be to start with action and emotion, not an explanation of the whole background to the story. You can slip these facts in subtly along the way - we don't need to have everything explained in advance.
And is that long list of names really necessary? Do you think anyone will actually read the list? I just noted how long it was and skipped to the next paragraph. There are already too many names to keep up with in the first section.
(Think about it; if you walk into a room of people and someone tells you all their names would you remember? What about if you talked to each one and spent some time with them? They'd be far more memorable then. This is how you need to introduce your characters; let us spend some time with them.)

I'm not trying to put you off though - good writing takes a lot of work and the best way to learn is by practice. And of course, if you're only writing this for fun, it doesn't matter what we think!

Good luck with your writing!

Stephanie Said:

How is my DATING story??

We Answered:

no worries

Byron Said:

How do you like my "dating" story so far??

We Answered:

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Katherine Said:

What are some fun things to do babysitting a little girl in a strict household?

We Answered:

When I used to babysit, we would read stories and make up funny voices for the characters. Let her make up some voices and be one of the characters.

Do you have a camcorder or can you borrow one? You can make your own homemade movie.

How about going on a nature hike? Look for interesing leaves, arrow heads, etc.

How about getting some sidewalk chalk and making a hopscotch court and playing that. You can get a jump rope and tie one end to a tree and play jump rope.

You can get some jacks and a ball and play that. How about taking some of your mom or grandmothers old clothes and usig those to play dress up?

How about noodle art with macaroni and glue on colored paper. Playdough is fun too.

How about asking the Mom if you can bake some healthy cookies with oatmeal and whole wheat flour or bake something else. How about fruit parfaits with yogurt and granola?

Ask her Mom how she normally spends her time for 6-7 hours at a stretch and see if she has some ideas.

How about visiting a museum? Walk to the nearest playground.

whew..hope some of these suggestions help.

Sharon Said:

My Dating story? how is it??

We Answered:

wow couldnt be longer.....

Go to you counselor the them your frustraition...